May 31, '97

1) the cinnamon buns from Elder Day's Mom
2) the love the Elders show for the temple
3) the letter I got from Rachel
4) Brother Jensen teaching twice today
5) Sister Bird listening to me!
15 min running; 35 push-ups

My entire existence as a missionary has been due to the influence of the Holy Ghost. My head often figures things out for itself without consulting the guidance of the Holy Ghost, and then it is a struggle of pride, when I do seek acceptance of my plans and receive rejection instead. Somehow, I am generally able to subdue my pride and follow the promptings that I can't deny.

If I had not followed the promptings of the Holy Ghost, I would have entered the MTC without the preparation I needed by attending BYU for a semester. I'm grateful Heavenly Father did not lose patience with me because of my constant pleading. I'm also grateful I got to come on a mission anyways -- I just had to be patient. And then FINALLY the promptings came that it was OK -- that I could indeed serve a full-time mission. How wonderful! And now that I'm here, I feel very much how important that time of waiting was, to ensure that I truly wanted to be here and to help me be better prepared.

I feel so blessed to be here and it is quite a struggle to watch others who take it for granted. None of our Elders are working up to their potential and it just gives me cause to wonder if they have a realization of the importance of these things. We are dealing with people's eternal salvation! On the other hand, I am painfully aware of the fact that you can't change people -- they have to choose to change of their own accord. My brothers taught me that and I"m re-living it with my Elders. I love them and I love this work! Cectpa Bepi