1) the letter I received from Ren
2) the hot air balloons I saw this morning
3) how humbling it is to have red-eye when I cry -- we all need humility!
4) just that I am HERE is a true BLESSING!
5) my room-mates and what I learn from them
50 push-ups. that's it.
My patriarchal blessing tells me I'll learn Christ-like love through motherhood, but I think I'm being given some trial opportunities here at the MTC. Christ-like love -- what does that entail? Christ has some high expectations of us -- "Be ye therefore perfect." He never backs down on his doctrine just so we'll like him. His love is always available to those who will partake.
I think of it in terms of Lehi's dream, that the tree of life (we'll interpret that as God's love) is rooted in the same ground all the time -- he never changes where it is to be found. The fruit replenishes itself so there is always enough to go around. The iron rod is provided as a safe means to get to God's love. he doesn't sell tickets or discriminate as to who can grasp on to the iron rod. He allows those who are enjoying the fruit to stay in plain sight, as a motivator for those of us still on the path. But for some reason, some people won't grasp on to the iron rod. Instead they hop on an escalator which takes them down to a great and spacious building, full of the love of men which just doesn't compare to the love of God. So here I am, at this point in time, with this district for a reason and I really think this might be (at least one of them) it!
I need to recognize people's agency to partake of the love of God -- or not. And while I can't understand or sympathize with their choice not to, I must simply be a tree of love, always in the same place, bearing plenty of fruit, with a path provided to partake.
What happened that brought on this analogy type of thinking is the {Staryeishini} Elders "expressed concern" (the real word is complained, but not in MTC vocabulary) to Sister Bird (my evening teacher) that they didn't want my help in teaching them. Apparently, an unequal relationship was evolving and that's never good. So while I was passing off my task, Sis. Bird expressed this concern to me and asked what we could do about it.
I was at a loss because my heart feels so pure! My intent was not to do this! I have some very simple goals -- I just don't have the most effective means of reaching them. So I will be paying attention to the other Sisters, who are helpful but (apparently) in a more effective way.
I'm not so worried that the Elders don't like me -- not everyone clicks and certainly not when their goals aren't the same. I'm just concerned that they have set me up as a hindrance to their progression, when all I wanted to be was a help. So I will remove the attempts at helping and that should ultimately remove one of their hindrances to learning.
Oh, I'm so excited to be a missionary! I know I have so much yet to learn and that I can learn it in/thru these experiences... not that I couldn't learn it in other ways, but like I said, at first maybe this is a trial run!
I honestly believe that missionary work is the responsibility of the priesthood and that it is my privilege to be involved in the miracles of conversion that lie ahead as I thrust my sickle into this marvelous work and wonder!
I pray for the attributes required (listed in D&C 4) and that I can grow in each of these.
I love my Savior and am so grateful for his love for me. I am in awe that I am a member of his Only true Church and that I partake in the ordinances that will lead me back to his presence. Why aren't I feeling the Spirit as I write this?!
I NEED the Spirit's constant confirmation! I rely on it so much!
The end. Cectpa Bepi
PS - I felt the Spirit as I read it -- that makes me feel better.
Fitting scripture (found 6/8, 6:30am, right when I needed it!)
Alma 42:27
Showing posts with label Elders. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Elders. Show all posts
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
May 31, '97
1) the cinnamon buns from Elder Day's Mom
2) the love the Elders show for the temple
3) the letter I got from Rachel
4) Brother Jensen teaching twice today
5) Sister Bird listening to me!
15 min running; 35 push-ups
My entire existence as a missionary has been due to the influence of the Holy Ghost. My head often figures things out for itself without consulting the guidance of the Holy Ghost, and then it is a struggle of pride, when I do seek acceptance of my plans and receive rejection instead. Somehow, I am generally able to subdue my pride and follow the promptings that I can't deny.
If I had not followed the promptings of the Holy Ghost, I would have entered the MTC without the preparation I needed by attending BYU for a semester. I'm grateful Heavenly Father did not lose patience with me because of my constant pleading. I'm also grateful I got to come on a mission anyways -- I just had to be patient. And then FINALLY the promptings came that it was OK -- that I could indeed serve a full-time mission. How wonderful! And now that I'm here, I feel very much how important that time of waiting was, to ensure that I truly wanted to be here and to help me be better prepared.
I feel so blessed to be here and it is quite a struggle to watch others who take it for granted. None of our Elders are working up to their potential and it just gives me cause to wonder if they have a realization of the importance of these things. We are dealing with people's eternal salvation! On the other hand, I am painfully aware of the fact that you can't change people -- they have to choose to change of their own accord. My brothers taught me that and I"m re-living it with my Elders. I love them and I love this work! Cectpa Bepi
2) the love the Elders show for the temple
3) the letter I got from Rachel
4) Brother Jensen teaching twice today
5) Sister Bird listening to me!
15 min running; 35 push-ups
My entire existence as a missionary has been due to the influence of the Holy Ghost. My head often figures things out for itself without consulting the guidance of the Holy Ghost, and then it is a struggle of pride, when I do seek acceptance of my plans and receive rejection instead. Somehow, I am generally able to subdue my pride and follow the promptings that I can't deny.
If I had not followed the promptings of the Holy Ghost, I would have entered the MTC without the preparation I needed by attending BYU for a semester. I'm grateful Heavenly Father did not lose patience with me because of my constant pleading. I'm also grateful I got to come on a mission anyways -- I just had to be patient. And then FINALLY the promptings came that it was OK -- that I could indeed serve a full-time mission. How wonderful! And now that I'm here, I feel very much how important that time of waiting was, to ensure that I truly wanted to be here and to help me be better prepared.
I feel so blessed to be here and it is quite a struggle to watch others who take it for granted. None of our Elders are working up to their potential and it just gives me cause to wonder if they have a realization of the importance of these things. We are dealing with people's eternal salvation! On the other hand, I am painfully aware of the fact that you can't change people -- they have to choose to change of their own accord. My brothers taught me that and I"m re-living it with my Elders. I love them and I love this work! Cectpa Bepi
May 30, '97
NOTE: in this entry, I wrote the five things I'm grateful for in Russian. Again, I won't bother with transcribing but just go ahead and type the translation.
1) Today was P-day
2) I thought in Russian... a little, but STILL...
3) My Elders have the desire to learn the language
4) I received another letter from Elder Stone
5) I can understand more Russian. It's a pretty language
35 push-ups. That's all. BAD.
Well, little journal, I got a lot done today... wrote 4 letters, did my laundry, and received an answer to prayer. It's the same prayer I had last night and the night before and the Lord is telling me over and over again that he is providing the means by which we can and will learn this language.
We all need to put our effort into it! It's great that we have faith, but to quote James -- faith without works is DEAD!
I love the scriptures, love the Gospel. I love the Lord and I want to serve him. And I want the Elders to serve him too. With love, Cectpa Bepi
1) Today was P-day
2) I thought in Russian... a little, but STILL...
3) My Elders have the desire to learn the language
4) I received another letter from Elder Stone
5) I can understand more Russian. It's a pretty language
35 push-ups. That's all. BAD.
Well, little journal, I got a lot done today... wrote 4 letters, did my laundry, and received an answer to prayer. It's the same prayer I had last night and the night before and the Lord is telling me over and over again that he is providing the means by which we can and will learn this language.
We all need to put our effort into it! It's great that we have faith, but to quote James -- faith without works is DEAD!
I love the scriptures, love the Gospel. I love the Lord and I want to serve him. And I want the Elders to serve him too. With love, Cectpa Bepi
May 28, '97
1) seeing Sis. Henderson
2) that we spoke all in Russian in evening class
3) that I have the opportunity to improve so much!
4) that I didn't get any mail... keeps me humble!
5) that tomorrow I'll probably get a letter from Elder Stone...
6) that we ordered Russian nametags!
walking -- 20 min; 35 push-ups
Whoa, what a day. How grateful I am to my Father in Heaven for prayers heard and answered. Today, I really needed to hear more Russian and hear my district do more with it. I love this language! And I have every desire to learn more, speak it well, and teach the gospel in it. But unlike the Elders, for me it starts here.
They seem to think they'll get to Russia and all of a sudden have the gift of tongues and be successful. Well, this evening our teacher chose to do the class in ALL Russian, and I believed it was an answer to my prayer and an eye-opener to the Elders.
Now I pray that they will act and learn so they can fulfill their calls as servants of the Lord! In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. Cectpa Bepi
2) that we spoke all in Russian in evening class
3) that I have the opportunity to improve so much!
4) that I didn't get any mail... keeps me humble!
5) that tomorrow I'll probably get a letter from Elder Stone...
6) that we ordered Russian nametags!
walking -- 20 min; 35 push-ups
Whoa, what a day. How grateful I am to my Father in Heaven for prayers heard and answered. Today, I really needed to hear more Russian and hear my district do more with it. I love this language! And I have every desire to learn more, speak it well, and teach the gospel in it. But unlike the Elders, for me it starts here.
They seem to think they'll get to Russia and all of a sudden have the gift of tongues and be successful. Well, this evening our teacher chose to do the class in ALL Russian, and I believed it was an answer to my prayer and an eye-opener to the Elders.
Now I pray that they will act and learn so they can fulfill their calls as servants of the Lord! In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. Cectpa Bepi
Sunday, March 21, 2010
May 22, '97
1) the opportunity to be delving into something so focused-like
2) my companion's laugh
3) the uplifting stories told today at LGM
4) the increasing unity of our district
5) the "sense" I am making of grammar!
run- 15 min; 80 sit-ups; 30 push-ups
Today went much faster than yesterday. Quite honestly, I think all of our time here will go much faster than we think and we will be out on the field in no time. How exciting!
Monday night we did that TRC (I dunno what the initials stand for) but pretty much people are staged as investigators and we get to teach them. My companion and I did it in English and the first time I don't think she was totally comfortable but the second time she caught on fire!
The Spirit is there when you need it, when you see it, and when you trust in it.
Tonight, our {staryeishini} Elders really impressed me. They led the discussions about gospel study. Our district leader, Elder Day, hadn't (in my opinion) been doing his complete duties, as far as keeping things under control and particularly in the area of setting a good example. But tonight, he was able to lead the discussion in such a way that the Spirit was indeed there and that several of the {staryeishini} Elders were impressed to bear their testimonies. And, in answer to my personal prayers, the testimony of Elder Miller was just what I needed to hear. Apparently he has been touched by the Spirit in the way that he needs to be to be motivated to dig in and learn this language so he can teach effectively.
It's wonderful for me to witness the hand of the Lord in others' lives!
I know these next 18 months will be full of such opportunities -- how grateful I am for that!
{Vo imya Iicyca Xpista, Amin} In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen
Cectpa Bepi
2) my companion's laugh
3) the uplifting stories told today at LGM
4) the increasing unity of our district
5) the "sense" I am making of grammar!
run- 15 min; 80 sit-ups; 30 push-ups
Today went much faster than yesterday. Quite honestly, I think all of our time here will go much faster than we think and we will be out on the field in no time. How exciting!
Monday night we did that TRC (I dunno what the initials stand for) but pretty much people are staged as investigators and we get to teach them. My companion and I did it in English and the first time I don't think she was totally comfortable but the second time she caught on fire!
The Spirit is there when you need it, when you see it, and when you trust in it.
Tonight, our {staryeishini} Elders really impressed me. They led the discussions about gospel study. Our district leader, Elder Day, hadn't (in my opinion) been doing his complete duties, as far as keeping things under control and particularly in the area of setting a good example. But tonight, he was able to lead the discussion in such a way that the Spirit was indeed there and that several of the {staryeishini} Elders were impressed to bear their testimonies. And, in answer to my personal prayers, the testimony of Elder Miller was just what I needed to hear. Apparently he has been touched by the Spirit in the way that he needs to be to be motivated to dig in and learn this language so he can teach effectively.
It's wonderful for me to witness the hand of the Lord in others' lives!
I know these next 18 months will be full of such opportunities -- how grateful I am for that!
{Vo imya Iicyca Xpista, Amin} In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen
Cectpa Bepi
May 21, '97
1) that this day has finally ended!
2) I got to take a nap outdoors
3) the pillow I sat on in class
4) the improvements my {staryeishini} elders are showing
5) Bro. Benson's kind comments when I see him as I run in the mornings
run - 30 min - 30 push-ips - 80 sit-ups - 90 butt-ups
*butt-ups are 0_/\ ---> 0/-\ (good illustration?!)
I really have a pride problem. It's a terrible thing. No wonder Pres. Ezra Taft Benson gave the great talk on pride. It keeps me from progressing, it keeps those around me from progression as effectively as they could. Seek first to cast the BEAM out of your own eye, cectpa!
I do know that I love the scriptures and it is a joy to me to be able to know the scriptures. But it has to be shared in the right spirit, with the appropriate purpose and selfless goal of teaching others AND learning from them to begin with.
This was an extremely long day (for some reason... dunno) Cectpa Bepi
2) I got to take a nap outdoors
3) the pillow I sat on in class
4) the improvements my {staryeishini} elders are showing
5) Bro. Benson's kind comments when I see him as I run in the mornings
run - 30 min - 30 push-ips - 80 sit-ups - 90 butt-ups
*butt-ups are 0_/\ ---> 0/-\ (good illustration?!)
I really have a pride problem. It's a terrible thing. No wonder Pres. Ezra Taft Benson gave the great talk on pride. It keeps me from progressing, it keeps those around me from progression as effectively as they could. Seek first to cast the BEAM out of your own eye, cectpa!
I do know that I love the scriptures and it is a joy to me to be able to know the scriptures. But it has to be shared in the right spirit, with the appropriate purpose and selfless goal of teaching others AND learning from them to begin with.
This was an extremely long day (for some reason... dunno) Cectpa Bepi
Sunday, March 14, 2010
May 15' 97
6:40am
from my scripture study: Acts 6 - Stephen has BOTH wisdom and power, and he teaches by BOTH wisdom and the Spirit.
D&C 6 - in regards to last night's journal entry, "ask and ye shall receive" has a lot more meaning for me. I did ask and I am receiving {vozmozhnost} the opportunity to serve full-time... what a calm assurance flows into my heart in realization of this!
Verse 10 - we are each GIFTED -- but stay humble (it comes from above) and use it for the right purposes.
Vs. 14 - WOW! Surely this applies to me, being here.
Vs. 19 - for companionship inventories!
11pm
1) Priesthood authority - especially when recognized for the great force it is!
2) Elder Stone's tape!! He's so awesome!
3) P-day tomorrow!! - get to go to the temple!
4) being able to explain the Plan of Salvation -- a great deal of eternal truth -- in 30 seconds
5) Seeing familiar faces now and again
20 min running, 150 sit-ups, 25 push-ups
It's {izumlyoni} amazing to me how fast the time goes when looking back on it, but how slow it can seem when trying to endure it! I haven't worn a watch the last few days and I think that helps me not count down the hours and minutes.
Don't get me wrong! I love the MTC and the things we're learning! But I find it hard to SIT ALL DAY with just breaks to eat. But if it's one of the greatest sacrifices I have to make then so be it!
Oh, it was so great to receive a tape from Elder Stone. I can definitely see how he is going to be a strength to me while I serve. He is very positive and spiritually strong and reveals an authentic desire to get stronger and be better. How awesome!
I hope the {staryashini} Elders in my district get this {zhelaniye} desire very soon... as of yet, it seems they tolerate the Spiritual side of it but can't wait to act like their teen-age selves again. SCARY!
Well, {ya ustala} I'm tired -- {ya hochy pobegat zabtra ytpo, shtobe spokoni nochi!} I want to run tomorrow morning, so good night!
{Lyuobov, Cectpa Bepi} Love, Sister Berry
from my scripture study: Acts 6 - Stephen has BOTH wisdom and power, and he teaches by BOTH wisdom and the Spirit.
D&C 6 - in regards to last night's journal entry, "ask and ye shall receive" has a lot more meaning for me. I did ask and I am receiving {vozmozhnost} the opportunity to serve full-time... what a calm assurance flows into my heart in realization of this!
Verse 10 - we are each GIFTED -- but stay humble (it comes from above) and use it for the right purposes.
Vs. 14 - WOW! Surely this applies to me, being here.
Vs. 19 - for companionship inventories!
11pm
1) Priesthood authority - especially when recognized for the great force it is!
2) Elder Stone's tape!! He's so awesome!
3) P-day tomorrow!! - get to go to the temple!
4) being able to explain the Plan of Salvation -- a great deal of eternal truth -- in 30 seconds
5) Seeing familiar faces now and again
20 min running, 150 sit-ups, 25 push-ups
It's {izumlyoni} amazing to me how fast the time goes when looking back on it, but how slow it can seem when trying to endure it! I haven't worn a watch the last few days and I think that helps me not count down the hours and minutes.
Don't get me wrong! I love the MTC and the things we're learning! But I find it hard to SIT ALL DAY with just breaks to eat. But if it's one of the greatest sacrifices I have to make then so be it!
Oh, it was so great to receive a tape from Elder Stone. I can definitely see how he is going to be a strength to me while I serve. He is very positive and spiritually strong and reveals an authentic desire to get stronger and be better. How awesome!
I hope the {staryashini} Elders in my district get this {zhelaniye} desire very soon... as of yet, it seems they tolerate the Spiritual side of it but can't wait to act like their teen-age selves again. SCARY!
Well, {ya ustala} I'm tired -- {ya hochy pobegat zabtra ytpo, shtobe spokoni nochi!} I want to run tomorrow morning, so good night!
{Lyuobov, Cectpa Bepi} Love, Sister Berry
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
May 9, '97
NOTE: In today's entry, I attempted to write in Russian a little bit. As I type in English, I am just using whatever English letters seem to correspond with the Russian, but then I put the Russian in {brackets} and italics and translate it immediately thereafter! If you happen to speak Russian, you might notice that I went ahead and left the mistakes as they were. No need to pretend that I knew more than I did!
1) My call to serve in this great work
2) Familiar faces around the MTC
3) the Spirit in
4) the breathing exercises Sister Halford does
5) Praying in Russian
20 min running, 110 sit-ups, 20 push-ups
Wow, today seemed long! My comp and I were going to try to get to bed on time tonight... it's already 10:32, so, oh well!
But I did feel lots of progression with the language today! We learned some very basic prayer phrases. I feel like I was guided to study Russian the little that I did. It just made me familiar enough with how to read it, and doing the independent studies project of taping scriptures in my bible made me feel comfortable with certain religious phrases.
I worry about the Elders in my district -- they seem a little discouraged. However, they also have a real Spirit of the truth and reality of the work. May God bless them with strength of mind!
No mail today :{ but I'll survive it. It only comes every 9 or 10 days in the mission field, so I suppose I'd best get used to it.
{Ya xochy picat pa-ruski kogda ya mogy. Takzhe goborit. Sis. Smyth tozhe xochit - spasibo. Ya blagodary Bozhe za klasni i krasibi komp!} I want to write in Russian when I can and also speak. Sister Smyth also wants to, thankfully. I thank God for a cool and beautiful companion! As you can see, I often don't quite know exactly what to say, but I know, {ya znayu, shto ya bydy mozhet vsyo goborit.} I know, that I will be able to say everything.
What an amazing Spirit abides in this work. It certainly is like a stone cut without hands! We took a little "missionary evaluation" survey this morning that asked some pretty searching questions about my testimony and faith level. I pray I answered them honestly!
I do love the Lord and His gospel and His Russian Saints. {Bo imya Iicyca Xpicta, Amin.} In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
1) My call to serve in this great work
2) Familiar faces around the MTC
3) the Spirit in
4) the breathing exercises Sister Halford does
5) Praying in Russian
20 min running, 110 sit-ups, 20 push-ups
Wow, today seemed long! My comp and I were going to try to get to bed on time tonight... it's already 10:32, so, oh well!
But I did feel lots of progression with the language today! We learned some very basic prayer phrases. I feel like I was guided to study Russian the little that I did. It just made me familiar enough with how to read it, and doing the independent studies project of taping scriptures in my bible made me feel comfortable with certain religious phrases.
I worry about the Elders in my district -- they seem a little discouraged. However, they also have a real Spirit of the truth and reality of the work. May God bless them with strength of mind!
No mail today :{ but I'll survive it. It only comes every 9 or 10 days in the mission field, so I suppose I'd best get used to it.
{Ya xochy picat pa-ruski kogda ya mogy. Takzhe goborit. Sis. Smyth tozhe xochit - spasibo. Ya blagodary Bozhe za klasni i krasibi komp!} I want to write in Russian when I can and also speak. Sister Smyth also wants to, thankfully. I thank God for a cool and beautiful companion! As you can see, I often don't quite know exactly what to say, but I know, {ya znayu, shto ya bydy mozhet vsyo goborit.} I know, that I will be able to say everything.
What an amazing Spirit abides in this work. It certainly is like a stone cut without hands! We took a little "missionary evaluation" survey this morning that asked some pretty searching questions about my testimony and faith level. I pray I answered them honestly!
I do love the Lord and His gospel and His Russian Saints. {Bo imya Iicyca Xpicta, Amin.} In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
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